Kim Jong Il Is My Broker, and Kim Jong Says ...

We're seeing what can only be described as "The Kim Jong Il Effect" on the markets. Both gold and the dollar are up at the same time, as money seeks safety.

Wouldn't it be cool if Kim Jong Il looked more like this...

I mean, he's acting like Doctor Evil. Why not look like Doctor Evil. Say what you want about Doctor Evil, but at least he had style.

Kim Jong Ill has no style. Instead, he looks like he flunked out of Antwon's Beauty and Styling School.

And if Kim Jong Il can't look like Doctor Evil -- maybe he's too attached to his hair? -- he could at least look like this (see photo). That's the original Doctor No from James Bond, also known as actor Joseph Wiseman. He's still around, which is pretty good for an 89-year-old guy. But he's from Montreal, so maybe it's all that clean Canadian living.

Of his famous role as Doctor No, Wiseman said: "I had no idea what I was letting myself in for. I had no idea it would achieve the success it did. I know nothing about mysteries. I don't take to them. As far as I was concerned, I thought it might be just another Grade-B Charlie Chan mystery"

So here's my question: Who plays Kim Jong Il in the movie? My favorite Kim Jong Il impersonator is Bobby Lee of Mad TV. Bobby is one of the bright stars of that show, which doing the kind of cutting edge comedy that Saturday Night Live used to be famous for before it petrified.

You can watch a video of Bobby Lee's "Kim Jong Il Show" at YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_-Ik98poTg

Not that I would ever recommend you waste time at work doing that (LOL!).

Ah, but what do I know about Hollywood casting. They'll probably give the role to Al Pacino.

Anyway, back to gold and the dollar. For a long time, gold was following oil's ups and downs (becuase higher oil prices are inflationary, and gold is a natural hedge against inflation). Now gold is following the dollar higher as Kim Jong Il threatens to set off a "series" of nukes. He has enough nukes to set off a "series"? What about those intelligence reports that he only had 2 or 3 nukes? How could our intelligence so overestimate Saddam's WMD and so underestimate Kim Jong's nuclear capabilities?

And where's James Bond when you need him?

Check out my new gold and energy blog at MoneyAndMarkets.com